I am now running precisely a week behind – which is not bad considering.
Last Thursday I went to the very pretty town of Stamford in Lincolnshire. Honeyed stone and winter sunshine – very pretty. The reason for the visit was to get together with Nigel Colborn to thrash out the meat behind our nascent stage show called Green with Envy.
Think of us as the horticultural Ant and Dec.
The plan is to perform a hybrid lecture/advice session/anecdotal moment show at theatres around the country. There will be stunning photographs, jokes of dubious taste, much rushing around, sound gardening advice and general disobedience.
The audience will be reluctant to go home at the end of the evening.
At least that is the plan…
We already have bookings and the whole thing begins on the 1st March at the Arts Centre in Stamford – hence the need for rehearsal.
It will be fun for both audience and performers – hurry now and book your tickets early to avoid dreadful disappointment.
I am listening to the very smug Nigel Havers reading his autobiography on Radio 4. The picture is of the River Welland looking picturesque in Stamford.
Been away for a week or so alternately basking and dripping on the very, very lovely Isle of Colonsay. My hearty recommendation to anybody looking for somewhere to go – great hotel (www.thecolonsay.com). I have a slightly ulterior motive as I am also helping with the garden at Colonsay House (www.colonsay.org.uk) which is open during the summer. Lots of highlights especially driving my newish Landrover at speed through the largest puddle in Scotland having neglected to close the windows. Lots of squealing children. It was also my birthday while we were there – I am much older than I used to be.
Bit hectic since I got back – lots of rushing around including a presentation to some charming people from Marks and Spencer at Barnsley House. As I am sure you know this was Rosemary Verey’s garden but is now a spiffy hotel. I went to the garden about ten years ago and have not been since. Last time I found it a bit disappointing as all the iconic parts (laburnum walk and potager) seemed very small. They still are and the asymmetry of some of the views is slightly annoying.
Went to look at my borders at Cottesbrooke Hall on Tuesday which are just beginning to grow into themselves. Still a bit of necessary tweaking but getting there. Over the past couple of years we have pulled them apart completely, dug them over and replanted. No matter how good, gardens need a good kicking occasionally to stop them becoming complacent. The biggest change was removing the venerable old Yuccas that marked the paths. Exciting things are happening at Cottesbrooke: at the moment Arne Maynard, Angel Collins and I are all doing stuff there.
I am listening to The Magic Numbers and the picture is of Colonsay.
I know this is a very dull thing to say but I am jolly well going to say it anyway…
My goodness, how time flies past.
Another year, another Garden Media Guild shindig under our belts. This year, as you may already be aware, Three Men were officiating. We made a short film and then tarted about for a bit which is always a jolly a way of spending an afternoon. As you are also doubtless well aware, Mark Diacono won three consecutive awards which was very gratifying. If you like that vegetably sort of thing.
I managed to stick a piece of paper on his back saying “Kick Me” and noticed Lia Leendertz sharpening the toe of her Jimmy Choos as I left.
There was then the usual drunken shenanigans in the pub where the usual suspects fell over to general hilarity. If you are interested you can watch the whole ceremony (apart from the falling over bits) here. As always it was a very jolly occasion with a lot of moustaches in evidence. Movember is now over and we have raised a shade over £20,000. I am terribly proud of everybody: we exceeded my wildest expectations. At the beginning I just thought it would be quite fun and we could raise a few hundred quid, thank you to all who participated and especially to those who coughed up the cash. I made a short film to commemorate the occasion, the music is by Nick Riddle who snuck into our team with fraudulent bonafides: he is not a gardener but we forgive him because of the excellent whistling and faraway look.
Apart from all this glamorous swanning about at awards ceremonies and growing whiskers there has been work going on: well, if you count wandering around looking at rocks work. These are very big rocks and there are lots of them: the reason is that we are rebuilding a quarry.Let me explain, in one of my gardens is a big scrape in the ground – about 35 feet deep at its steepest – which used to be a quarry. The idea is to make it look sort of quarryish again by reinstalling big lumps of stone which will then be interesting to climb on and could be planted with ferns, trees and general stuff.
So Tuesday found me wandering around a vast site in Oxfordshire choosing monster rocks. I do love this sort of thing, I come over all Tonka truckish at the sight of large diggers and deep mud. Which is quite odd as I have never been very interested in cars, I had Dinky Cars but was never much of a Brrrm, Brrrm kind of child. I am left unmoved by Ferraris and Formula One but get very excited by a large digger and a deep trench. Anyway, we chose a selection of rocks which are now being slowly transported across to Gloucestershire, doubtless much to the annoyance of the traffic on the A44: my apologies if you find yourselves stuck behind a straining tractor.
I have also been to the RHS Garden at Hyde Hall. I had never been before and, now I am responsible in some small way for its upkeep, thought I had better show my face. It is the newest RHS Garden and is very much under development (there is a handsome newly dug lake), lots of trees are being planted, borders hewn from fields, the Dry Garden is being extended and new car parks built. I may not have chosen the best day for a visit as it was markedly chilly. The wind howled across battering the collection of christmas trees decorated by local branches of the WI which stand amongst the borders: I suspect that tinsel will be being picked from trees across Essex for months to come. Still, it was interesting and bracing and we got turkey for lunch. Oh, and the best bit was the live willow weaving. They have groups of pollarded willow in the borders that have been bunched together and tied into various shapes: very effective and sculptural.
Before you go, here is another film: this was made by a very clever fellow called Sebastian Solberg about Jeremy and Camilla Swift’s extraordinary garden in Wales. I arrived there after going to a memorial service (hence spiffy tie) and was immediately sat down and required to spout stuff. It is an extraordinary garden varying from pretty orchards to ruined hovels via high Classicism, steep woodlands, theatres, turtles and the Kingdom of the Moor. It is open for the NGS at some point: but for goodness sake, take a raincoat, it is Welsh Wales, after all.
http://vimeo.com/32222906
I am listening to Wild america by Iggy Pop. The picture is of the aforementioned willows at Hyde Hall.
Contact
You just call out my name, and you know, wherever I am…
Seems ages since I last wrote this – my apologies to the many people who have, no doubt, been pining for a new episode. Had a wonderful three days in Paris: weather perfect, food great etc etc etc. We stayed at an amazing hotel
which is run by friends of mine: it is called L’Hotel near St Germain. Extraordinary building based around six storeys of tubular hall, extremely comfortable, perfect service, delicious food, Oscar Wilde drew his final breath – go there. www.l-hotel.com
Since getting back life has been a little irritating as my wireless network has been behaving very badly which is deeply annoying. I seem to have an engineer living here permanently – I am particularly peeved with Apple whose stuff I adore but who seem to have a problem with their shiny new iMacs and wireless thingies. (This is getting a bit nerdy, isn’t it ? I will shut up on that subject.)
Went to see a potential new client in East Sussex/Kent on Wednesday. Glorious sunshine and finally a bit of a bite to the temperature- the leaves are beginning to turn and our morning walks through loose frost are beautiful.
This is a picture of Thurrock services where I stopped for a tepid expresso and a leaden croissant.
Autumn is with us – which is more than can be said for my bulb order which is in transit somewhere. I am having bad luck with lorries as another delivery (containing lights for a garden) succeeded in demolishing the client’s front gate – which is particularly galling as it has been recently (and painstakingly) rebuilt.
Still everything still looks beautiful out there – my Nerines are particularly striking (especially the buds) and my Geranium psilostemon (which we cut back hard about six weeks ago is flowering like a teenager).
Today I intend to decimate the Verbena bonariensis which, though divine most of the time, has now become a little tedious as the first flush of passion passes. Beneath a large group of Verbena lies a block of box hedging that I planted in the spring and have not seen since July – I feel it might appreciate a little fresh air.
I am listening to En Fuego by the Latin Project and the picture is of the aforementioned Nerines.
I have visited the Chelsea Flower Show during buildup and found it marvellous. So marvellous that we made this film to amuse whomsoever needs amusing.
I am now off again to visit the show again. While I am there I will be flouncing around in front of a camera for the BBC Red Button. This is the television coverage for connoisseur. There will be a series of films: some with me, some with the formidable Christine Walkden and some with Toby Buckland. This is available all the time for people with satellite and cable televisions or after about 7pm every evening if you are on Freeview. Apparently the French Open tennis takes priority which is a bit rich if you ask me. All you need to do is press the Red button on your remote control.
I will be wandering around the Great Pavilion expostulating on plants and nurserymen and will be on an endless loop on Tuesday and Thursday. I think, details are here.
Other things have happened but I have not got the time to tell you so that may have to wait until my next blog. By which time I will have realised that they were not that exciting anyway and they will have been overtaken by other stuff. Such is life…
I am listening to Pushing the Envelope open by DJ Z-Trip and DJ P (i)
The picture is of an Allium Christophii.
(i) I could be the only potential RHS Council member who has this song on their iPod. That may, or may not, be a plus point in the forthcoming election.
I have been in Cornwall for a week. A week of doing very little in the company of all my children and I have to say that it was in every way delightful. We had multiple simultaneous Scrabble tournaments going on (99% of them won by my younger son Max who has an uncanny ability to do ridiculously high scoring things with just a couple of O’s and an X) and long games of Star Wars monopoly which we found on a shelf (i). There was also heartiness in the form of long walks along Frenchman’s Creek and the coast path, fish and chips on the dock at Coverack, crab sandwiches and ice cream at Roskillys.
We rented a very snappy house next to an art gallery where I did the garden. If you have the inclination to go to Cornwall then I cannot recommend it highly enough. Details here.
End of Kernow Kommercial break. What else can I bore you with? Moustaches are occupying my mind at the moment. As regular readers will have gathered I (and many others) am growing a moustache for November. I am doing this in company of about sixty other gardeners (many of whom are female which is going to be interesting)in order to raise funds for research into prostate cancer. It is very distracting growing facial hair: one finds oneself stroking it in wonder for much of the time. It is a surprise every time you touch your chin to find in no longer smooth and pliant but spiky and rough (but at the same time silky). Part horrible, part fascinating. Very disconcerting. At the moment I am growing a full set of everything with the idea that it will be whittled down at some point over the next couple of weeks. We are raising some decent money though, over £4,000 so far. If you want to give money go here, or, if you just want to gawp at silly pictures go here.
I have also been to London to film this:
We realised that our public was baying for a new Three Men film so convened on Cleve’s allotment to enjoy the drizzle. There is another short film to come very soon.
And now, Ladies and Gentleman, hold onto your hats and grasp the bannisters firmly because……am going to write a bit about gardening. This week we started planting a walled garden we have made. I have mentioned this before but to recap: once upon a time this area of the garden was bordered by one hundred and fifty two very tall leylandii and contained a tumbledown shed, some old sycamores and a collection of very unattractive dog kennels. We have cleared it, surrounded it with drystone walls, put in a very handsome greenhouse and built two sets of steps (one incorporating a tinkly rill). The beds are marked out in spirals-which I think is more interesting that conventionally dull squares and will consist of about fifty percent fruit and vegetables and fifty percent flarze and ornamentals.
The flowery bits I have no problem with, for the fruit I threw myself upon the mercies of my bearded friend Mark Diacono. He is a bit of a novice in these matters but I thought it would be charitable to give the chap a chance. He is, after all, just a rough Devonian more used to ploughing barefoot and drinking cider in hedgerows. This is his list…. (all available, I believe, from Otter Farm)
And this is him wandering around spreading the love, I had to keep a stern eye on him as he occasionally went off piste and starting spreading rhubarb where there should be roses and eyeing up beds I had earmarked for tulips as a good place to mass sow kohlrabi or coriander. In order to keep listomaniacs happy this is my tulip list (for cutting).
Tulip Spring Green T.Philip de Comines T.Ballerina
T.Burgundy T. Jacqueline T.Violet queen
T.Gavota T.Cassini
I anybody asks nicely I will furnish other lists as they manifest themselves.
This is a really very wonderful project, one of the most entertaining I have ever done. I will, if I may, return to the subject as the seasons progress. I will, in particular, draw attention to any of Diacono’s trees that have keeled over as, judging on past performance at Otter Farm, killing plants is what he does best.
The picture is of a bit of handsome Cornish chain. I am listening to Traffic Boom by Piero Piccioni from the Big Lebowski Soundtrack
(i) Star Wars Monopoly is not a good idea not only because it is a slight abomination in itself but also because it is very difficult to tell which property is which. Of course I now cannot remember what any of them were so have no evidence to back up my claim. Just take it from me: it ain’t right. Like flavoured fudge (qv passim)
(ii) Just to keep you on your toes….
Attentive readers of these pages – and there cannot be that many of them judging by the pitifully few comments. Please feel free to comment whenever the mood takes you – perhaps I should say more controversial things in order to stir people to action.
The Speaker of the House of Commons tastes of whortleberries. Prince Edward has the tail of a mole. Henley-on-Thames is brimming with smelting plants. Canadians eat cats. Perhaps I need something stronger in order to provoke a reaction I will think of something. I notice that my friend Jane Owen’s Blog at timesonline.typepad.com/gardening is not swamped with comments either. Maybe it is a Gardening thing.
Anyway: as I was saying, attentive readers will know that I have a couple of jobs in Hastings. Interesting place, very steep but a long way from Northamptonshire. Yesterday I spent eight and a half hours driving in order to lay out a lot of plants on something closely resembling a precipice. The latter bit was fun – especially as it allowed me the chance to buy chocolate brownies of indescribable deliciousness from Judges Bakery – the driving was ghastly. I was also semi-kidnapped by a very old lady who whisked me off the street to change the light bulb in her kitchen. The hall was neatly paved with telephone directories which was a novel take on flooring. The calendar on the wall was from 1987.
Had a call this morning to say that many of the plants had been blown down the hill by a particularly sprightly wind last night which was a bit of a blow. However, after a flurry of telephone calls all seems to have been restored to order.
Other episodes of mild interest include writing an article for the very lovely Camilla Swift at SAGA magazine – something that all those enfants terrible seldom get asked to do.
Completing a great courtyard with big olives, chunky topiary and huge terracotta pots from Italian Terrace in Suffolk (www.italianterrace.co.uk) – looks spectacular.
Organising the planting of thousands of bulbs and a fair few trees.
I am listening to Sunshine by Mos Def and the picture is of the seafront at Hastings.
One of the the procedural minefields about this Blog thing is the moral dilemma of whether it is acceptable to omit a day if nothing very exciting happens. Based on the remarkably uneventful days that I have already included I am inclined towards the principle of anything being better than nothing however, if anybody ever reads this stuff, then I feel that it would be kinder to take the occasional break. I will ponder further on the ramifications.
Finished a scheme for a rather nifty little London garden today – not something I do very often. I left London over a decade ago now and try to work there as little as possible – too many constraints and too much exhaust. Occasionally, however, it is fun. I also spent a (relatively) pleasant hour having my lower back massaged. So that’s that.
This picture is of a Corsican pine at Mount Stuart, Isle of Bute ( http://www.mountstuart.com ). It was coated with silver by the artist Anya Gallaccio as part of the Mount Stuart visual arts programme.
I am quite techy. Even though I seem to be rubbish at keeping this blog regular.
I love shiny iThings and can find my way round the internet without stumbling too often. However, there are things I cannot get the hang of and one of those is doing garden plans on my computer. I have spent many happy hours in the tender care of Tamsin Slatter (Queen of Vectorworks) but it has just slipped away from me the minute I left her office. This slight lack of retention is one of the things that worries me more than anything: the reason that I worry is not really because I may forget who I am or whether I like pudding but because I fear that, when the time comes for me to be asked to be on Strictly Come Dancing, I will immediately forget the correct steps to the Paso Doble the minute I leave the rehearsal room. I will then arrive at the Tower Ballroom and only be able to shuffle from one foot to the other.
Maybe with a bit of nodding and swaying . Like a geriatric emu in a cable car.
The Judges will be coruscating in their critique and I will become the slightly sad and rhythm free old bloke who gets voted off in week two.
This is the stuff of nightmares.
But back to Vectorworks and the point in question. The main problem is lacking the time needed to practice: given two or three weeks of concentration then I would probably get the hang of it but I do not have two or three weeks to spare at the moment. It is also yet another sign of ageing, I cannot assimilate these things as fast as I used to do. You can see that the whole idea of computer aided design is awakening many sleeping demons and feelings of on rushing mortality. I am pretty sure that that is not really something that was intended by the inventors.
I have to admit publicly that I am happiest with a pencil. Not just any pencil but a combination of a very handsome Rotring that was given to me by my able assistant, Selina, and a box of well sharpened red and black HBs. The Rotring is surprisingly heavy and could probably kill somebody if thrown accurately at a vulnerable pressure point. The red and blacks are cheap enough to be scattered everywhere so one is always within reach. I also have a box of coloured pencils with which I can discrimate between green stuff and brown stuff. Finally I have boxes of Tempo felt tip pens (in black, blue and red). Using this ununremarkable arsenal I then scribble sketches on bits of tracing paperand send them off to clever (younger) people like Selina, Helen or Jens who are then very tolerant and turn my daubs into neat computer plans. I have surrendered on this matter totally and without too many regrets; the designs are, after all, still mine.
However, I must say that, at least in the field of garden design, too much of the fizzing white heat of technology can sometimes become confusing. I have been privileged to be on the selection panels for various RHS Shows this year and I worry that designers are losing touch with simplicity. We were assailed with slightly too colourful 3D Sketchup designs which, in a bid to be cutting edge and exciting sometimes became confusing. Computer design is amazing and can make everything much more wonderful but…
Keep it simple, people, do not forget the humble pencil.
While I have your attention: we did a new Three Men Film the other day: for the National Gardens Scheme and featuring the amazing Penny Snell who has just stepped down from being chairman of the NGS. As an example of her indefatigability: on the day we filmed she had been up since 4.00am going to market, filmed with us (which involved her smoking for the first time in fifty-five years) and then went off to a book launch in the evening. Joe, Cleve and I, meanwhile, were having a cup of tea and a lie down. Here is the film.
I am listening to He’s a Rebel by the Crystals (from the soundtrack of 20 Feet from Stardom – which you should see if you can).
The picture is of Magnolia soulangeana Borzoni which was flowering at Borde Hill Gardens the other day. It is a pretty marvelous thing with a scent redolent of the the more perfumed parts of the Italian Renaissance.
